How to Build Confidence on Yourself

After years of working on myself, I’ve realized that there are a lot of misconceptions of what makes a confident man. Some think arrogance plays a part, some believe it’s about physical strength, and others imagine a guy who isn’t afraid to get into a fight with anyone who challenges them. In reality, none of those fit the bill.


So rather than coming up with some generic one-line answer, I decided to write a list of traits that I know confident men carry.


A confident man…

  • Knows to apologize when he’s wrong
  • Speaks the truth and doesn’t go back on his word
  • Isn’t worried about his girlfriend’s past dating history
  • Doesn’t need to put people down to make himself feel better
  • Gives back to others because he genuinely wants to
  • Is assertive and actively goes after what he wants in life
  • Knows how to be a gentleman and treat a woman like a lady
  • Takes responsibility for his actions and doesn’t blame others
  • Has many interests and is passionate about them
  • Makes the woman he’s with feel sexy and desirable
  • Takes the initiative to ask for her number or invite her on a date
  • Leads with charisma and self-assurance
  • Doesn’t take advantage or prey on those weaker than him
  • Stands up for his values and what he believes in
  • Has his emotions under control and keeps his cool even in the most tense situations
  • Smiles often and brightens other people’s day
  • Speaks slowly, clearly, and with purpose
  • Gets excited to meet new people and personalities
  • Communicates with his partner and doesn’t shut down
  • Expresses his feelings openly instead of making passive-aggressive comments
  • Isn’t afraid to disagree but doesn’t have to start an argument
  • Has a proactive outlook on life and radiates positive energy
  • Enjoys going on adventures and trying new things
  • Doesn’t have to brag or boast to feel important
  • Avoids negative self-talk and doesn’t tear himself down
  • Is comfortable and non-judgemental about female sexuality
  • Sees failure as an opportunity to learn and grow from
  • He respects and considers the opinions of others but doesn’t seek their approval
  • Tries to prevent unnecessary drama and fights in his relationship
  • Isn’t selfish and shares what he has with others
  • Avoids jumping to conclusions and making unwarranted assumptions
  • Is open-minded about new ideas and gives them a fair chance
  • Stands tall, with his shoulders relaxed, and head held high
  • Enjoys a good challenge and the process to overcome it
  • Isn’t jealous, controlling, or needy in his relationships
  • Has a great sense of humour and knows how to make people laugh
  • Always protects those closest to him
  • Expands his comfort zone on a regular basis
  • Encourages others to succeed and is excited for their accomplishments
  • Doesn’t guilt trip or manipulate his partner to get what he wants
  • Is polite, has manners, and understands social etiquette
  • Tries to look his best because he values himself
  • Accepts criticism and doesn’t take things personally
  • Is happy with himself and doesn’t hide who he really is


So how about it, are you feeling confident?

6 Tips on How to Find the Perfect Date Venue

You’ve connected with someone and you’re really excited because she has said yes to the first date. Terrific, you have made it to the first post. Now you need to do some serious thinking if you really want to make this date a success.


First of all it’s really important to think about the date itself. What would you like to achieve? A second date right? Well maybe, it all depends on the in-person chemistry, but you can make the whole experience a lot easier on yourself if you choose the right venue or experience.


There is a small misconception around making a big impression on a first date. Can I let you in on a little secret? It’s not about the money and the flash, it’s about the thoughtfulness, and originality and care that you put into organising the first time you meet. Here are the basic tips you need to be thinking about:


  1. Find a Convenient Location

Think first about geography and logistics. Try to choose something that is easy for you both to get to and from and is centrally located as much as possible. Original is great but if it means being very adventurous on the travelling front, it’s probably not a great idea.


  1. Think about the Noise Level

A venue that has music that is so loud booming out of the speakers that you can hardly hear yourself think let alone your date. Cool is great but it can still be achieved along with a decent conversation.


  1. Take the Season into Account

If it’s mid-winter, something cosy with a fire would be terrific to pump up the romance. If its spring or summer and the sun is shining, it’s essential to take advantage of being outside.


  1. Give Her Some Warning If You’re Doing Something Active

A stroll is a lovely thing, but your Lady might begin to literally chafe if she elected to wear her high heels.


  1. Take the Formality Out Of the Occasion

If dinner is your first date, then choose your venue wisely. Something really grand and over the top that screams special occasion as a way to impress is not the way to go. Save that for a landmark date of significance not a first meeting. You don’t want to come across as a flashy idiot who uses being impressive as a way to win someone over.


  1. Chose a Restaurant with a Wide Menu

The last thing you want is to be having those first moments of conversation being completely overheard by your dinner neighbours who are only 15 inches away. A bit of space between the tables is a bonus. Oh and let’s not forget cuisine. It’s quite simple to look at menus on a venue website and choose somewhere with a range of cuisine options, foods you both recognise is definitely the way to go.


Do all the leg work on your first date venue research and make the right decision and you are well on your way to romantic success.

10 Ways to Get Ready for a Date

Need to get ready for a date with that special someone? Take a little time to plan your date so that everything goes as smoothly as possible.

Here are 10 ways to get ready for a date:


  1. Confirm your date. You don’t want to get blown off or stood up! I make sure I write down where I am going, what I am doing, who I’ll be with, and any phone numbers I will need. If meeting them at the date location, I don’t miss my train, bus and make sure I plan for traffic. I don’t show up drunk or hung-over and I do make sure I am refreshed and energetic for the day’s events.


  1. If taking a girl on a date, it is sometimes considered polite to ask her Father first. I will have to be the judge of this situation to avoid embarrassment and/or refusal.


  1. Pick out an outfit. I make sure it’s not too dressy if I’m only going to the beach, but if I’m going out to eat, I make sure it’s not too casual. Above all, I make sure that whatever I am wearing is comfortable. A shirt and casual trousers are appropriate for most occasions.


  1. Take a shower. I want to be nice and clean. I use a nice smelling shampoo and conditioner and use a scented body wash. I wash my face, and clean up more than usual. I want to impress my date. I Shave and considers a new haircut to smarten up my appearance. I don’t want my date to confuse me with the tramp that hangs out by the train station.


  1. Brush your teeth and style your hair. The last thing I need is a piece of broccoli stuck in my teeth from lunch. I use a mouthwash afterwards and pop in a mint or two or maybe a piece of gum to freshen my breath. The style that I do to my hair is the one that compliments my face and, if I’m really good, I also style my outfit.


  1. Be patient. If my date doesn’t show up right away, that’s fine. It gives me more time to prepare. I pop in another mint or think of what I’m going to say. If my date is 15 or more minutes late, I try a phone call. If she doesn’t answer, I just wait 10 more minutes and then call again.


  1. When on the date, don’t worry! No date goes perfectly so don’t worry about it. I don’t turn too heavily to drink. This always ends badly and gives the impression that I have a serious problem.


  1. Think of witty things to say beforehand which could be interesting for your date. But do take note of some of the topics that mustn’t be mentioned on dates.


  1. Guys, opening a car door for your date never goes out of style. And I still do this as a sign of being a gentleman.


  1. Walk your date to the door at the end of the date. This will show my caring side to the girl aside from being a gentleman.


It’s not that hard to prepare for a date. Just be sure to follow these tips and I hope your date will end well!

Where And What To Eat. That Is The Question!

You’ve got yourself a date. You’ve asked her out nicely and you’ve got the moves that every man or woman might envy you for. But nothing could ever get you ready when it comes down to one thing:

Where do we actually eat?

I’m Alfred Kosmosdi. I understand the Internet. It’s a vast network of recommendations that you have to know about what you’re talking about before you make a proper decision. I may not be an expert on dating venues but you could rely on me for being well-travelled.

Where exactly, you might ask?

I’ve been to Indonesia, Malaysia, Singapore, Japan, th Philippines, India, Germany, Poland London, Amsterdam, Greenwich, Iceland, Norway, South America and Panama. I’m actually in some place far away from my home in London as we speak.

Like any other guy, I’d want to have a date along with me. I’m pretty sure you’ve got smoother moves than what I’ve got. But I’m pretty sure I know more places where things can get interesting.

I’m not saying sexually interesting. I meant more about having a good time. Women, and even men, want a place where they could have memorable moments with their dates.

These could be dates testing your endurance with the real personality your date. This could be a date that is quite luxurious but for half the price of what you really need to pay for (quite famous based on people asking me for that), and these could be dates that you could just do at home while you’re both too tired to go out and have some sunshine or night wind.

Why am I such a traveller? It’s because I want to taste the luxuries of the world.

Luxuries can be subjective. I’ve backpacked once and I’ve found gems that I can’t believe existed in places like Pakistan, Turkey and India. Most tourists try to avoid these places. But I embrace them because they’re pretty awesome if you’d ask me. Especially if you find the Fatimah Jinnah Park in Pakistan and Turkey is pretty much a very romantic place.

Sometimes, you might discriminate against places, never knowing that you’re missing out on interesting gems. Sometimes, it’s just a small corner café in London or South America. Sometimes it’s just a cheap lodging house in Greenwich that’s actually very accommodating and has a terrific view.

Sometimes, it’s all about driving out into the wilderness and finding something interesting that you yourself can’t believe your eyes.

With that in mind, dating becomes pleasant. I’m also here to help you about budgets and finding the best places to date without having to shell out so much. If your date is as adventurous as you are, why not go for a backpacking date to see how both of you could deal with the stress and dependence on each other.

A little too soon? I don’t think so. Backpacking is the best way to test you and your date’s mettle!

So, there’s more advice here for you if you’ve been wanting a blog that can show you all the right places to accompany all the right moves you have for an epic, unforgettable date!